The Hater Confessional (Part 2): How To Talk Trash, Isolate Others, And Mock The World Around You | Dr. Isaiah Hankel | Discover How to Create a Confident and Focused Life The Hater Confessional (Part 2): How To Talk Trash, Isolate Others, And Mock The World Around You | Dr. Isaiah Hankel | Discover How to Create a Confident and Focused Life

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The Hater Confessional (Part 2): How To Talk Trash, Isolate Others, And Mock The World Around You

“The tribe often thinks the visionary has turned his back on them. When, in fact, the visionary has simply turned his face to the future.”

Ray Davis

“The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.”

Hugh MacLeod

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Edmund Burke

 

The herd can hurt you.

Achieving your goal and fulfilling your purpose in life require a detailed understanding of the obstacles you will face. These obstacles can be other people, limiting circumstances, or your own negative emotions. My last several posts have focused on the first of these forms: haters. Too many people make the mistake of giving haters a free pass. Understand: ignoring the haters in your life is not a badge of honor. It’s a black “X”. Pretending haters don’t exist will not make them go away. It will only empower them. You have to deal with them. The key is to deal with haters in ways that do not distract you from achieving your goal.

Get ahead by getting inside a hater’s head. This article is Part 2 of a series of articles that are written from a hater’s point of view (click to read Part 1). The truth is, we have all hated on someone before. Life is hard. Getting ahead is hard. Raising yourself up is hard. Working to increase happiness, generate confidence, and fulfill your purpose in life is hard. On the other hand, bringing someone else down is easy. Holding someone else back is easy. Crapping all over other people’s high hopes is easy. When the going gets tough, it can be tempting to fight against someone else’s dreams instead of fighting to fulfill your own dreams. You have to be on guard against this hater mindset. But first, you have to understand the hater mindset. This mindset is characterized by a strong desire to keep people in line. Haters do not want you breaking away from the herd. Haters love the herd and they will defend its uniformity at all costs.

The Hater Defense

Use your words as weapons. As a hater, trash talking is your first line of defense against someone trying to break away from the herd. A few carefully placed words can quickly put a person back in his place. The best way to keep him in line is to say things that make him question his confidence levels. Be subtle. Make a joke about how he isn’t qualified to move ahead or go out on his own. Say something clever about the last time he messed up or failed completely. Undermine his enthusiasm with sarcastic phrases like, “Yeah right,” or “Sure, that will happen.” At the very least, give him a confused look and act like you are struggling to follow the logic of his decisions.

Always follow up your trash talking with a simple, “Just kidding.” These two little words will give you complete immunity against any retaliation on his part. If this person calls you on your negativity and lack of support, casually remind him that you were only joking. After all, he shouldn’t be so sensitive. Of course, you’re not busting his balls, having fun, or playing around. These things can increase happiness and inspire action. No, you’re trash talking with destructive intentions. Your aim is to hurt his feelings, drag him down, and keep him from achieving his goal. If this person continues to step away from the herd, apply more pressure. Say whatever it takes to keep him in line. Be more direct in your criticism. Use words that cut deeper and deeper.

Circle The Wagons

Isolate those who break away. There are only two choices in life: collection or isolation. You can either be part of the group or on your own, completely and forever. It’s your job to enforce this rule. Occasionally, some arrogant person will step so far away from the herd that she will no longer respond to trash talk or criticism. There will come a point when your words will no longer affect her. At this point, her creativity and confidence will begin to flourish. She will have started to develop leadership skills and leadership influence. You must act quickly. The only way to stop her momentum is by isolating her. No matter how successful she becomes, she will still have to interact with others. Relationships are incredibly valuable, both personally and professionally. Use this against her. Make it your mission to erode as many of her relationships as possible. This will create useless drama in her life, forcing her to waste time and resources.

The price of stepping away from the herd is loneliness. It’s your job to make people pay this price. The best way to do this is by starting rumors that undermine their credibility. Pay particular attention to past failures and mistakes. After all, if they made an error in judgment in the past, they are likely to make an error in the future. No one is perfect, which is why no one deserves to get ahead. Go back as many years as it takes to find something to use against them. Leave no stone unturned. Collect all skeletons. The closer you are to the person trying to step away, the better. Use everything you know about her to make her emotional. Push all of her buttons. The combination of spinning the rumor mill and making her emotional will make it easy to isolate her. She will appear to be a lose canon. She will appear arrogant. Circle the wagons tighter and tighter until she is completely ostracized. Be ruthless. Blackball her completely. This is your last chance to bring her down.

Mock The World

Resentment feels better than shame. On rare occasions, a determined individual will completely break away from the herd. He will have generated so much momentum towards achieving his goal that nothing will be able to hold him back. This person will have aligned his entire life towards his purpose. No matter what you say or do, he will continue to increase happiness, generate influence, and improve self-confidence. Do not try to compete with this person directly. Your actions will only motivate him and bring him positive attention. At this point, any trash talking or attempts to isolate him will make you look bad. It’s far too late for these tactics. Instead, focus your efforts on building up resentment against everything he has achieved. Understand: individual success is contagious. If one individual breaks away from the herd and achieves his dreams, others will soon follow. It’s your job to keep this from happening. Once someone has achieved his goal, your best course of action is to tear down the goal itself.

Pick apart people’s victories. Find reasons why a particular victory is not so great. Focus on the smaller obstacles that they had to overcome. Point out why the mountain peak was not substantial and why the path to it was not difficult. Mock their so-called dreams. Make them feel silly for wanting something so bad. Make them feel foolish for working so hard. This will discourage others from breaking away and achieving their goals. After all, accomplishments are subjective. Achievement is arbitrary. Everything that’s worthwhile in life comes easy if you know what you’re doing. Greatness can be hacked. In my next , I will show you how to keep people dependent and prevent them from developing leadership skills.


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