“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” — Oscar Wilde
“When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control.” — Bohdi Sanders
“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.” — Epictetus
“Our feelings are not there to be cast out or conquered. They’re there to be engaged and expressed with imagination and intelligence.” — T.K. Coleman
“When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.” — Tara Meyer Robson
If you’re not where you want to be in life, it’s your fault.
It’s your fault because you’re not in control of your emotions.
Take ownership of your life.
Take ownership of your situation.
Realize that you experience life through your emotions and that your emotions dictate what your life is like.
If you’re constantly frustrated, your life will be frustrating.
If you’re constantly worried, your life will be fearful and full of worry.
If you’re constantly obsessing over how much money you don’t have or how crappy your relationship is, your life will be full of lack and relationship crap.
The good news is, you can flip things around by taking control of your emotions.
You can stop letting your emotions dominate you and dictate the quality of your life.
You are in control.
You can limit your negative emotions and limit the negativity in your life.
By anticipating your emotions.
By leveraging your emotions.
By counterbalancing your emotions.
Maybe you don’t think your emotions are impacting your life very much so you aren’t too worried about controlling them.
Well, think again.
If you think your emotions aren’t affecting your life, you’re ignorant.
Your emotions taint every single moment of your life.
You are never without emotions.
But, your emotions can control you, or you can control them.
If you think that you’re not responsible for your emotions, you’re a coward.
Start being accountable to yourself.
Start taking control of your emotions.
The Massive Benefits Of Controlling Your Emotions
Happiness is not caused by success.
It actually works the other way around.
Success, in all areas of life, occurs because a person is already happy.
Experiencing more positive emotions is associated with having more success, better relationships, better health, and a longer life.
But, no one experiences only positive emotions.
So, what are these people doing differently?
How are they feeling positive emotions, before they have even achieved successes?
Because, they know how to take control of their negative emotions and not allow that negativity to consume them.
When people experience more positive emotions, they also report experiencing a higher level of life satisfaction.
And, that increased life satisfaction has important consequences.
A study by Chapman University found that as people report higher levels of life satisfaction, their mortality rate drops by 18%.
If you are less likely to die when you are satisfied with your life, and if experiencing more positive emotions leads to high life satisfaction, why haven’t you taken responsibility for your emotions?
Why aren’t you experiencing more positive emotions and less negative emotions?
It’s time to take action.
Simply learning to control your negative emotions, rather than letting them control you, will improve your life dramatically.
Better health, better relationships, and a longer life are all yours when you learn to take control of your emotions.
3 Strategies To Dominate Your Emotions Instead Of Letting Them Dominate You
When your emotions are in control, you will suffer.
Emotions are an important and ever-present part of being human.
But, how they manifest in your life is up to you.
You can let anger and frustration dominate you, causing a life filled with negativity.
Or, you can take control and use your emotions to be productive, to achieve goals, and to move forward.
Here are 3 ways to take control of your emotions…
1. Anticipate your emotions so you can be prepared to manage them.
Very few people take the time to sit down and plan out their day, or their week, and think about the emotions that might come up in those future situations.
Most people do absolutely nothing to prepare for the emotions they might feel.
And, they suffer from this lack of preparation.
Perhaps you know that you have a big presentation later in the week.
You will plan out the time in your schedule for this event.
You will prepare the presentation.
You will think about what questions people might ask you.
But, you should also take a moment to anticipate the emotions you might feel during that presentation.
Just like preparing what you will say, and anticipating what questions you might get, you need to be prepared to deal with your emotions.
Most people don’t do this.
They just go through the motions and fall victim to their emotions.
They let emotions control them.
They let the circumstances and people that contribute to those emotions control them.
Take back control.
Anticipate your emotions.
This doesn’t mean dwell on those emotions — playing them over and over again in your head.
No, stop that.
Sit down, name the emotions you are anticipating, and then make a plan.
Plan the best course of action to take when you feel a particular emotion BEFORE you are actually experiencing the emotional situation.
2. Use drafting to channel your emotions into something useful.
Drafting is a term used in racing, where one car follows the car in front very closely, to reduce resistance, and then uses their drafting position to slingshot ahead of the front car.
At high speeds, this creates an incredible boost in speed for the second-in-line car.
The second car has used the energy of the first car for its own benefit.
The lead car was exerting tons of energy to maintain the fast speed, while the second car just drafted behind and then exploited that energy.
You can apply this concept to your emotions.
You can use the energy of a negative emotion to power you toward something useful.
For example, let’s say somebody aggravates you, and you’re angry.
You are filled with lots of energy because of that powerful emotion.
But, if you just give all that energy to the anger, it’s not going to do you any good.
You don’t want to suppress that energy, either.
That would be a waste.
Instead, use that energy to go in a different direction to slingshot ahead and to be productive.
Let that emotion power you forward.
Use your anger in a positive way.
This concept applies to all your powerful emotions.
You can use the energy of your emotions to be productive and work towards your goals.
3. Counterbalance your emotions with the appropriate action.
When you get angry, what’s the first thing you want to do?
You want to express it outwards.
You want to yell, slam, punch, stomp, or take some other physical (usually violent) action.
That’s how anger works.
You want to take action.
But, this feeds the anger and does not lead to anything productive.
Instead, counterbalance your anger by taking no action.
This will exercise control over the situation and will diffuse your anger.
Logically, you can take control over your anger by just not doing anything.
Don’t yell, don’t slam-type an angry email.
Leave the room, go for a walk, or get away from the computer.
Whatever it is your anger is making you want to do, don’t do it.
That’s how you can counterbalance it.
But, what if you are feeling nervous or worried?
How do you counterbalance those emotions?
Well, nervousness can cause you to freeze and obsess over something inside your head while taking no physical action.
So, when you’re scared or nervous, counterbalance the emotion by taking action.
Do something about the emotion you are feeling.
Be bolder than you normally would be.
Just as it takes effort to not take action when you are angry, taking action when you are scared will require self-discipline and effort.
But, this is the way you will be able to take control of your emotions so that they don’t dictate how you act.
Stop letting your emotions get the best of you. You are responsible for your emotions and you can control how they affect your life. Take ownership. Start taking steps toward mastering your emotions and learn how you can use them to be productive, not destructive. A few strategies you can use to control your emotions are to anticipate your emotions so you can be prepared to manage them, use drafting to channel your emotions into something useful, and counterbalance your emotions with the appropriate action.
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