“Look for people who will aim for the remarkable, who will not settle for routine.”
David Ogilvy (British businessman, known as ‘The Father of Advertising’)
“The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.”
Ellen Glasgow (American novelist)
“The less routine, the more life.”
Amos Bronson Alcott (American educator)
A billion dollars.
She’s now worth a billion dollars.
But she used to be a single mother on welfare.
She used to beg for scraps.
Then she wrote the biggest book franchise in history, came up with a story that filled seven novels and eight Hollywood movies, and inspired millions of people.
It all started with an idea.
It all started on a boring day in a café.
J. K. Rowling has repeatedly claimed in interviews that she’s always had the entire Harry Potter story in her head.
The story was in her head just waiting to be written.
She started writing after moving to Portugal to take a job as an English teacher.
During that time, she finished three chapters.
In a year and a half.
Just three chapters in eighteen months.
Then, after breaking off a bad relationship, she moved back to Britain with her daughter.
That’s when she went on welfare.
She needed to go on welfare to be able to feed her kid.
She was approaching rock bottom.
J. K. Rowling had a decision to make.
She could decide to settle for a below average life.
Or, she could create a new life for herself.
She could stick it out in a miserable situation, hoping her luck would change.
Or, she could create her own luck.
Instead of quitting, J. K. Rowling poured her heart and soul into her work, taking her daughter with her from café to café as she finished the first Harry Potter book.
It was rejected by every publishing house she approached.
Every. Single. One.
But she refused to accept “no” for an answer.
She kept hitting publishing houses. She was rejected twelve times.
Then, someone said “yes.”
The rest is history.
Now, a dozen literary agents are either fired or kicking themselves for missing the opportunity of the century.
J. K. Rowling recognized the stagnation in her life and decided to turn things around.
She refused to be told “no,” refused to accept life’s scraps, and refused to let her story die inside of her.
She hit the reset button and dramatically changed her life, getting everything she ever wanted.
How did she have the guts and the grit to stick it out?
How did she turn her life upside-down after being a “failure” for so long?
Why You Need To Hit The Reset Button On Your Life
A stagnant life isn’t really a life.
Overcoming a negative life event is like overcoming an injury.
Something bad happens.
You don’t ever think you’ll be able to make progress again.
You’re afraid to try or to put yourself out there again because you could get injured again.
So, instead of applying yourself, you sink into a rut.
Eventually you stop making any kind of progress and your life starts to fade.
The only way to prevent this from happening is by hitting the reset button on your life after a major failure.
Like with any real injury, the only way to heal is to start using the injured limb again as soon as possible.
The only way to regain your happiness and achieve real success is to start applying yourself to your goals again, right away.
A recent study published in the journal, Physical Therapy found that people who suffer from depression after an injury show improvement in mood when they start applying physical effort again.
On the other hand, if they lay around and refuse to do their physical therapy, they stay depressed.
They get worse.
If you lay in the hospital bed of life and do nothing, you’ll remain injured.
You’ll get bedsores and become decrepit and never reach your full potential in life.
The only way to avoid this fate is to lean into your mistakes and failure by working to correct them.
You need to develop a healthy sense of defiance and hit the reset button on your life over and over again until you get exactly what you want from life and nothing less.
How To Change Your Life After Failing Repeatedly
Most people get stuck on the road to success and passively decide to stay put.
They accept defeat and stop moving forward.
Instead of hitting the reset button, they settle.
They settle for a house, or a spouse, or kids, or a stable income and then stop growing.
These people can faintly remember when they used to have goals.
But it’s been years since they’ve set any new goals.
These people have peaked.
In other words, they’ve fallen into a routine.
They’ve let themselves become comfortable, and this comfort has turned into sloth.
Look—breaking out of your routine is the only way to escape feeling trapped.
Hitting the reset button is the only way to avoid hitting a permanent wall.
You can’t move your life forward after a failure by doing the same thing over and over again.
You can’t move your life forward by wishing and hoping while doing nothing.
You have to hit reset.
You have to make a dramatic shift in your perspective.
You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
You have to be willing to cut off stale relationships and instead, start putting your energies into designing and achieving your ideal lifestyle.
Here’s how to hit reset and start a new life for yourself after an epic failure…
1. Recognize when your life is stale.
Too many people are living boring lives.
They’ve created a routine for themselves.
They got comfortable with it.
Created another routine.
Got comfortable again.
Over and over this happened until their lives became completely stale.
Some of these routines happen daily, like doing the exact same thing at the exact same dead-end job every day.
Some of them are weekly, like going to the same bar with the same friends you’ve been hanging out with since high school.
Some are yearly routines, like spending your 2 weeks of vacation at the same place you’ve been going to since you were three years old.
Your life is cluttered with routines.
These routines are keeping you from having breakthroughs.
They are keeping you stale, average, and normal in a very bad way.
As a result, this year is starting to look like last year.
Last year looked like the year before, which looked like the year before, and the year before.
At some point in your life, you decided that the bare minimum was enough for you.
Consciously or unconsciously, you decided that a stable, average life was a happy life.
You decided that mediocre success was the same as greatness.
The only way to regain the right perspective and start making big changes is by taking responsibility for yourself.
You have to take a hard look at what you’ve achieved and what you’ve failed to achieve.
You have to stop blaming your parents, or boss, or bad luck for your shortcomings.
You have to stop hiding from the fact that you’re a failure.
You have to stop denying the truth.
Don’t fall into the trap of having a victim mentality.
Don’t fall into the trap of wallowing in self-pity.
Never surrender your own ability to improve your life.
Instead, take responsibility, see your life for what it is and what it isn’t, and start taking strong action to achieve the life you want.
2. Overcome your toddler-like love of comfort.
Change is uncomfortable.
Hitting the reset button comes at a cost.
The cost is worth it, but you still have to pay it.
Most people never realize they’re stuck in a loop, and those who do realize they’re stuck, never succeed at breaking out of the loop.
Round and round they go, doing the same things they’ve always done.
Loops are comfortable.
Your daily routine is like a soft blanket making you feel cozy, secure, and normal.
Sure, you only have a little, but the little you have is safe.
You’re scared of losing what little you have, so you continue living your boring, unfulfilled life.
You’re scared of changing, so you stay the same.
Look—if you truly want a better life, if you truly want to experience new and exciting things and break free of whatever rut you’re in, you need to overcome your fear of change.
You need to see familiarity and comfort as the enemy.
These things will never make you happy, they’ll just numb your brain.
Like a drug, they’ll mellow you out, soften you, and make you docile.
Over time, you’ll turn into a shell of your former self.
The fastest way to overcome your fear of change is to hit the reset button.
It’s only when you force yourself to get uncomfortable and to encounter entirely new experiences that you’ll start feeling alive again.
Hitting reset will wake you up to your own life.
The numbness will fade, and instead you’ll start to crave the excitement of something new.
But you need to break that initial barrier.
You need to overcome the activation energy of change.
You need to stop holding onto things that don’t really matter, including stale routines and stale relationships.
3. Don’t stay in broken relationships.
The people around you are part of your routine.
They’re in your life because you allow them to be.
Some of them bring happiness and success into your life, but others bring pain and failure.
There are some people in your life right now who shouldn’t be there.
You’ve let these people stay in your life out of habit.
They’re in your life, not because they add value, but because you’re too lazy or too afraid to walk away.
You talk about the same negative topics you always talk about.
You do the same meaningless activities together that you’ve always done together.
You don’t challenge each other or push each other to achieve your goals.
Instead, you co-dependently settle.
Stop allowing these people to hold you back from changing your life.
Stop allowing them to block your reset button.
New, positive experiences and people will not enter your life until the negative people are gone.
You must be very deliberate with who you let into your life.
Don’t be afraid to let small-minded people go.
Don’t be afraid to start over in your relationship life.
Most importantly, don’t try to fix people.
Don’t turn manipulative people or people who play the victim into some kind of pet project.
Simply let them go.
Your time is better spent working on yourself, or seeking out new people who can add value to your life and who will actually accept value from you.
4. Never stop taking on new challenges.
In nature, an organism that doesn’t adapt finds itself at the bottom of the food chain.
Or, it becomes extinct.
People are the same way.
At a fundamental level, a human being is no different from any other mammal.
We have the urge to reproduce and pass on our knowledge to our young.
Our bodies work to keep us alive long enough to fulfill that basic purpose in life, and then we die.
When you lose your purpose, when you become stuck, you signal to your brain and body that you have no reason to live anymore.
You signal that it’s time to die.
When you start going through the motions and no longer challenge yourself mentally or physically, deterioration will set in.
You start to decay.
You start to rot.
Only by continually challenging yourself and facing adversity will you keep both your body and mind sharp.
Only by defining a strong purpose for your life and working effortlessly to achieve it will you prevent decay.
This means you have to hit the reset button on your life over and over again.
Whenever you start getting comfortable, you have to shake things up.
You have to stay on the edge of your comfort zone, going past the edge when necessary, to keep making forward progress.
5. Design the life you want and accept nothing less.
Consider what you’re good at.
Consider what you enjoy doing.
Consider your natural strengths and all of the things you want to get up and do on a daily basis.
This is the lifestyle you were meant to live.
Using your talents and interests to fill your days and create value are a dream that few people achieve.
The reason most people never achieve it is because they get stuck.
They face a negative event and never recover.
They stay injured.
Routine is a band-aid that many people wear to cover up their injured life.
They’ve been hurt really badly in the past and now, instead of going back to the drawing board and mapping out new strategies to achieve their goals, they give up.
They accept mediocrity.
Once you allow mediocrity into your life, it’s very hard to push it out of your life again.
A better strategy is to never accept less than you’re worth.
Never accept less than your Perfect Day.
When you hit a road bump or make a mistake, don’t stop dead in your tracks.
If you stop dead, you’ll end up dead.
The only way to prevent this decay is to keep growing, to keep moving forward.
And the only way to keep moving forward is to always have a target.
Your target is your Perfect Day.
It’s the actions you want to get up and do on a daily basis.
It’s the ideal lifestyle you want to live.
Look—you can’t hit a target you don’t set.
No matter how smart, talented, or hardworking you are, you’ll NEVER hit a target you don’t set.
So, set your target.
Design your ideal lifestyle.
With this lifestyle in place, you’ll be able to quickly hit the reset button after a failure.
You’ll immediately be able to get back on track, or start a new track, instead of sitting idly by and waiting for your life to be over.
If you’re stuck in a rut, that’s on you. But if you take the time to realize you’re worthy of more, you can start to move forward to the life you deserve. By cutting negative people out of your life and continually taking on new challenges, you’ll stay sharp. You’ll stay uncomfortable, but strong. You’ll keep growing. Refuse to settle for an average life or for average relationships. Refuse to settle for a mediocre existence that’s weighed down by routine. Get focused and map out the exact life you want to live. Create a target for where you want to go and then start working hard to hit it.
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