How To Increase Resiliency To Better Deal With Negative Stress | Dr. Isaiah Hankel | Focus, Create and Grow Your Way To Intelligent Achievement How To Increase Resiliency To Better Deal With Negative Stress | Dr. Isaiah Hankel | Focus, Create and Grow Your Way To Intelligent Achievement

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How To Increase Resiliency To Better Deal With Negative Stress

When life knocks you down, do you stay down?

Do you quit and refuse to get back up?

To rise to your true potential, you have to be pushed.

The problem is life’s not fair.

Life’s not going to wait for you to make up your mind on a big decision.

It’s not going to ease up so you can catch your breath and get ready for the next hardship.

Instead, life is going to hit you hard.

It’s going to hit you again and again and again.

You’re never going to have the luxury of only deal with ONE affliction at a time.

Instead, you’re going to have to learn to take the hits, endure the hardships, and bounce back.

You’re going to have to get up and hit back.

This means you’re going to have to be resilient.

Here are 3 strategies for building more psychological resilience…

1. Focus on how good it could be, not how bad it could get.

Everybody has bad days, but it could ALWAYS get worse, no matter what.

The possibility for things to go wrong is infinite.

But the possibility for things to go right is also infinite – so start looking at the other side of the coin.

Bold optimism backed by action will bring you peace of mind.

Blind pessimism will not.

Stop preparing for the worst and just “hoping for the best.”

Instead, expect the best and take nothing less.

Look—when you focus on problems, you create problems.

You give them energy.

The only way to become more resilient in life is to start focusing on solutions.

Once you make a mistake, experience failure, or identify a problem, move quickly from understanding the problem to finding solutions.

As soon as you understand the problem, start solving it.

Only then will you be the kind of resilient person who turns pain into productivity and loss into opportunity.

2. Channel your energy into taking action, not whining like a toddler.

Listen—nobody worthwhile wants to hear how bad you have it.

Nobody wants to hear about how unfair your life is.

Instead, they want to hear your plans for making it better.

When you whine, you encourage other people to whine.

And you attract whiny people.

As a result, you start getting pulled into other people’s conflicts.

You start getting sucked into more drama and negativity.

Whether it’s a friend calling to complain, some troll baiting you on social media, or a colleague sending you passive-aggressive emails, you’ll jump right in because surrounding yourself with other whiners makes you feel less whiney.

Get it?

Whining prevents you from being resilient.

Sinking into other people’s problems prevents you from bouncing back from your own problems.

It’s hard enough to be resilient in the face of your own problems, let alone other people’s problems.

The only way to regain control is to stop whining about your problems and stop tolerating other people’s whiny behavior.

Instead, channel your energy into productive action.

When something goes wrong, take action.

When someone complains, ignore them and then take action in your own life.

Realize that your time is valuable and can’t be wasted by whining or by complaints from other negative people in your life.

3. Ask for help when you need it but don’t expect free handouts.

Asking for help takes energy.

The reason people have a hard time asking for help is not because of their pride or consideration for others, it’s because they’re lazy.

When you ask for help, first, you have to get up the courage to ask.

And being courageous is draining.

It’s something you have to practice and work at.

Second, you have to follow through on your end of the bargain.

This scares a lot of people.

It’s much easier to give up after trying something on your own once or twice.

At least that way you have an excuse.

You can tell yourself and other people things like “I tried but I didn’t know how” or “I tried but no one would help me.”

So lazy.

It’s much harder to ask for help and have the person helping you hold you accountable.

If you’ve tried something on your own, attacked it from every angle, and then ended up stuck, don’t just spin your wheels or give up.

Instead, ask for help.

The key is to ask the right person for help and follow up on your end of the bargain.

Don’t just ask for help and expect other people to do everything for you.

Ask for help and then work twice as hard.

It doesn’t make you weak to ask for help, it makes you stronger.

It makes you more resilient.

But only if you ask for it when you truly need it and only if you are the hardest working person in the partnership.

Stop being lazy.

Get help when you need it.

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