“Revenge, the sweetest morsel to the mouth that ever was cooked in hell.”
Sir Walter Scott (Scottish Historical Novelist & Playwright, Rob Roy)
“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”
Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor And Author, Meditations)
“Beware the fury of a patient man.”
John Dryden (English Poet & Poet Laureate)
The first three slaps of being pink bellied are the worst.
Your belly goes numb.
I was a freshman in high school and some of the upperclassman had invited me over to a party.
I showed up and stood around awkwardly.
Why was I here?
Something didn’t seem right from the beginning but when the most popular guys in school invite you to an event—you go.
Nobody was really talking to me.
I was standing in the kitchen watching the cool kids talk.
They seemed so natural.
I was always uncomfortable in big groups of people back then.
Someone started moving a big reclining chair in the living room.
I didn’t think anything of it.
A few minutes later I was on my back with four guys holding my arms and legs and another guy slapping my stomach until it was beet red.
The slaps hurt but watching all the older girls laugh really hurt.
But this isn’t some sob story.
I didn’t cry myself to sleep that night and I don’t cry about it now (okay, maybe a little).
In a sense, this was just a bunch of guys roughhousing.
Plus, I was kind of a spaz back then.
I’m glad it happened.
Because eventually they let me up and I left.
I remember walking home that night plotting to get revenge.
I was going to get each and every one of them back.
But I never did.
I never got revenge, at least not directly.
I did hear that one of those guys went to jail a few years later though.
The rest stayed in the same town working mediocre jobs.
Nobody outside of that town knows who they are and probably never will.
Why You Should Want To Get Even With Someone
You should want to get even with someone who did you wrong.
But you shouldn’t get revenge.
A study in Science Magazine shows that wanting revenge stimulates the rewards centers of your brain.
Wanting revenge lights up your dorsal striatum, which becomes active when you anticipate pleasure from acquiring things like sex, money, or good food.
But getting revenge is a different story.
A report by the Association of Psychological Science shows that while most people believe getting even will make them feel better, it does not.
In an experiment published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, participants were divided up into punishers who could get revenge on someone who double-crossed them during a game and non-punishers who could only think about getting even with those who double-crossed them.
Both punishers and non-punishers rated their feelings immediately after the game, as well as 10 minutes later.
Punishers felt worse than non-punishers, despite getting the chance to exact their revenge and get even with someone.
Punishers continued to feel worse at the 10 minute time point.
In some cases, the punishers remained so distracted by their feelings of guilt that they were unable to focus on the next game.
3 Ways To Get Even With Someone
Getting even is not something you deserve.
It’s something you earn.
If someone mistreats you in life, you don’t deserve revenge.
You’re not entitled to get justice or success just because you were mistreated.
Instead, you have a decision to make.
Are you going to accept this kind of behavior or are you going to work to improve your position in life so it never happens again?
Any two-bit, emotional reaction you have to being mistreated will only cause you more pain.
These kinds of reactions are weak, sloppy, and ineffective.
These simple reactions are wasted.
Don’t waste your revenge.
The power of revenge lies in its ability to inspire action.
Wanting to get even is healthy but you must be very careful with how you leverage this wanting.
Here are 3 ways for mistreated people to get even …
1. Get revenge on yourself, not others.
Cussing your boss out and quitting.
Taking a baseball bat to your ex’s car.
This is what fools do.
When people take advantage of you in life, it’s just as much your fault as it is their fault.
You put yourself in a compromising position.
You allowed yourself to be pushed around and manipulated.
Use the fact that you were mistreated as motivation to improve your position.
Where are you vulnerable in life? What knowledge do you lack? What skills do you need to develop?
Be ruthless with yourself.
Lashing out at others or turning sly and manipulative is a waste of time.
Don’t turn the microscope on other people, turn it on yourself.
After all, who are you really trying to help?
What’s the point in showing other people that they’re wrong?
Let them be wrong. Let them keep living their sad little lives.
You have bigger and better things to do.
Real justice is not making your enemies see your point of view.
Real justice is rising so far above your enemies that you can’t see them anymore.
2. Turn aggression into misinformation.
The people closest to you hurt you the most because you tell them everything.
You run your mouth constantly about all your hopes and dreams, fears and obstacles.
You just can’t help yourself.
You blab and blab until everyone around you, including those who wish you harm, know everything they need to know to influence you.
You give them the information they need to hold you back or push you around.
The best and fastest way to turn things around on people who are mistreating you is to cut them off.
Shut off all forms of communication.
Stop feeding them the fuel they need to control you.
Stop giving them a target to hit.
Negative people feed off of aggressive reactions.
They will get aggressive with you just to get you aggressive in return.
Now they know what triggers you. Now they know what you really want.
Don’t fight aggression with more aggression.
Instead, fight it with misinformation.
Respond to negative people in the opposite way they expect.
Throw them off balance.
When they try to manipulate you, go along with it until the very end.
When they attack you aggressively, stay patient and relaxed.
Flip whatever emotion or behavior they’re trying to instigate on its head.
Misinform the situation.
Do this enough and you will completely confuse those who come against you.
They will not know how to hurt or even affect you.
3. Transform manipulative actions into artwork.
Getting even with someone is not emotional.
It’s a business decision.
Someone has affected the cost-benefit ratio of your life and now you need to act strategically to improve your position so it doesn’t happen again.
The best way to do this is to channel other people’s manipulative actions into something productive that benefits you.
Don’t cry and whine about how painful life is.
Instead, use this pain to your advantage.
Pain is a powerful motivator.
Many projects, businesses, books, relationships, and ventures in general have been built on pain.
They’ve been built despite pain.
Making something happen for yourself is the best revenge.
Manipulative people coming against you has a way of making you feel out of control.
At times, it can seem like the whole world is trying to hold you back.
But this is just an illusion.
In reality, very few people are concerned with you.
Everyone is too busy trying to better their own lives.
The best way to get back at people who won’t support you, or who actively try to manipulate you, is to create something on your own.
Turn other people’s manipulative actions into artwork.
Transform your pain into productivity.
Don’t get sucked into the trap of trying to exert your authority over someone who has mistreated you.
Don’t get drunk on some gaudy sense of justice.
Instead, get to work.
The best way to get even in life is to use your desire for revenge as motivation to change your life for the better. Don’t focus on getting even with someone, focus on wanting it. Focus on what you can do to prevent yourself from being mistreated in the future. Take responsibility for the pain you’ve experienced and then transform your pain into positive energy. Combat aggression with misinformation and transform manipulative actions into artwork. Do this and you will live a happy and successful life, which is always the best revenge.
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