“Anybody can become angry—that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”
Aristotle (Ancient Greek Philosopher)
“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”
Lee Iacocca (Former CEO, Chrysler)
“He who angers you conquers you.”
Elizabeth Kenny (Nurse & Inventor of New Polio Treatment)
An intensely frustrated man.
That’s all he was.
He hit people, hurt people, and killed people.
He was known for his violent tendencies, so he acted the part.
He filled every minute of his days with being as unpleasant as possible.
His enemies called him “La Hire,” meaning the Wrath of God.
Étienne de Vignolles, born in 1390, was a French military commander during the Hundred Years’ War.
He knew what he was good at—getting angry and destroying things.
Then he met someone named Joan of Arc.
Joan became a heroine of France for her role during the Lancastrian phase of the Hundred Years’ War.
She was later canonized as a Roman Catholic saint.
Joan took Étienne under her wing, earning his respect.
She helped him channel his anger into disciplined action.
She helped him use his frustration to his advantage.
Of course, this worried some of Étienne’s troops.
If the angriest man in France lost his anger, wouldn’t he lose his ambition too?
Would he lose his drive and ability to fight?
Would he stop winning?
The opposite happened.
Étienne became an even bigger force to be reckoned with.
He became even more powerful.
The former loose cannon became a guided missile.
He was still driven, he was still able to fight, but his mind was clear enough to choose his battles wisely.
Under Joan’s direction, Étienne went from barbarian to Captain General of Normandy.
Joan knew the power of frustration, but instead of fearing it, she directed it.
Why Feeling Frustrated Is Normal
Frustration is a powerful emotion.
When channeled correctly, anger can help you accomplish your goals.
It can help inspire confidence in those around you and portray a strong sense of leadership.
But when channeled incorrectly, anger can be toxic.
In a study published in Human Relations, British soldiers were examined to determine their relationship with anger.
The examiners evaluated when anger was useful to the soldiers, and when anger was not useful.
The results of the study showed that anger can be beneficial.
In fact, anger can keep you alive.
No matter how much preparation or training you go through, your mind isn’t wired to listen to a calm voice of reason when the situation is life or death.
When chaos hits, your brain uses frustration to make decisions and drive you forward.
This is why officers bark their orders at soldiers.
The soldiers respect this.
They respect it because a harsh and direct order triggers them to take action and focus outward, no matter what else is going through their heads at that time.
On the other hand, no one, not even military soldiers, appreciate inappropriate anger.
Studies show that unwarranted outbursts by superiors cause resentment, lack of action, and manipulative action.
Inappropriate anger is counterproductive and leads to inaction or retaliation.
In the life of a soldier, the proper channeling of anger can make the difference between a successful mission and total disaster.
They need anger to do their jobs, and they need control over their aggression to be the professionals they need to be.
This is the same for everyone.
If you learn to control your anger, you’ll be able to use it as a positive factor in your life.
5 Steps To Turning Frustration Into Success
At some point in your life, anger has controlled your actions.
You said or did something you shouldn’t have.
As a result, you’re now cautious around anger, or even scared of becoming angry.
But what you’re really afraid of is losing control.
You’re afraid of letting an emotion rule over you.
Look—you can’t be scared of your emotions.
You are in control of your emotions.
All of your emotions can be used to your advantage, including anger.
In fact, a study of 6,000 patients reported by CBS News found that people who express their anger openly live an average of two years longer than people who internalize their anger.
The key is controlling your emotions.
By learning to control your frustration, you can leverage it to get ahead in life.
You can literally transform your frustration into higher levels of success.
Here are 5 steps to deal with and overcome frustration and anger in your life and turning it into achievement…
1. Control frustration by taking responsibility for it.
To control your frustration, you must take responsibility for it.
No matter what happened to you or who came against you, the ball is in your court now.
How will you handle this?
Will you cry about it and play the victim?
Will you lash out uncontrollably and make yourself look ridiculous?
Or will you accept the fact that it’s your fault?
What happened to you may not be your fault, but how you handle it is.
All that anger you’re feeling, all that blame you want to lay at someone else’s feet, must be owned by you first.
Once you own it, you can control it.
Did you put yourself in a compromising situation?
Either way, you have the power to control how you react.
Stop blaming other people for how you feel.
Stop pointing fingers.
By owning your anger, you control it.
By taking responsibility, you gain leverage.
You give yourself the power to direct your anger as you see fit.
2. Don’t fear frustration or it will dominate you.
Frustration is just an emotion.
It’s just a temporary experience.
As such, there’s no reason to be afraid of frustration.
Being afraid of feeling angry is like being afraid of laughing—it doesn’t make sense.
Are you afraid of feeling confident?
Are you afraid of being happy?
No, of course not.
There’s no reason to be afraid of any emotion, including anger.
The key to controlling anger is not to fear it, but to act on it appropriately.
When you feel awesome, you celebrate.
When you feel unsure, you deliberate.
Likewise, when you feel angry, you should take action to resolve the problem you’re facing.
Start seeing anger for what it is—a useful tool.
When you start embracing the fact that getting angry can actually work to your benefit, you’ll stop fearing it.
You’ll know that you’re always in control.
You’ll know that you can call on anger when you need it, and that it won’t take over.
Frustration is a feeling that can give you energy to help you grow in life, but only if you stop cowering from it.
3. Understand the link between frustration and success.
Frustration is not some evil poltergeist that will plummet you into darkness.
It’s not some mystical black cloud that will hold you back from your goals.
Instead, it’s a controllable force that can propel you forward.
Many of the world’s most important inventions were founded on frustration.
Frustrated with darkness?
Poof—here’s the light bulb.
Frustrated with smallpox?
Poof—here’s a vaccine.
Frustrated with riding on a ship for two weeks to cross the Atlantic Ocean?
Poof—here’s an airplane.
Frustration is a powerful motivator.
As such, frustration and success are tightly linked.
The more you express frustration in a controlled manner, the further you’ll go in life.
The more you will create.
The more you will achieve.
Most people work because they have to.
These people clock in and clock out without ever believing in their work.
A frustrated person, on the other hand, believes in their work.
These people have a purpose in life.
Their purpose is to resolve the source of their frustration.
They work to eradicate the problem that is causing them pain and to make sure no one else experiences that same pain ever again.
This is the power of frustration, and it’s why frustration will make you successful.
4. Use frustration to relieve stress and create adventure.
Being frustrated doesn’t mean being stressed out.
Stress is a feeling that “busy” people use as an excuse.
I’m so crazy busy!
I’m so stressed out!
People who feel stressed in life are choosing to be controlled by their emotions.
They’re choosing to be overwhelmed by their frustration instead of using their frustration to overwhelm their problems.
Look—being stressed is not going to help you achieve your goals.
Being stressed is not a badge of honor.
Anger makes you think towards solutions.
Frustration helps you set bigger goals for yourself, because you’re focused more on success.
You’re ready to start eliminating problems from your life, to start tackling whatever issue is bothering you.
You’re ready to break through your rut.
Anger is a gateway to adventure.
Now, you need to do something new.
Now, you need to break free from your comfort zone.
Now, you need to take a big risk and live like you have nothing to lose.
Frustration leads to freedom.
By riding the wave of your frustrated emotions, you’ll gain new experiences and shake loose new opportunities.
5. Leverage frustration to remove negative people from your life.
Frustration is an axe.
Frustration helps you identify what needs to be cut out of your life.
There are people in your life who shouldn’t be there.
But you’ve allowed them to stay because the pain of walking away is greater than the pain of letting them stay.
You know these people are bad for you.
You know they drag you down.
The problem is you’re only experiencing moderate frustration by letting them stay.
Moderate frustration is your worst enemy.
You must increase your frustration.
Only by increasing your pain and frustration will you have the power to get rid of the negative people in your life.
Let frustration drive you to take action.
Focus on why these people do not belong in your life.
Focus on how these people are holding you back from your biggest goals.
Then get surgical and remove them forever.
Refuse to let negative people push you around anymore.
Let your frustration give you the strength you need to stand up for yourself.
Quit being scared of frustration and anger. Rule over your emotions, don’t let them rule over you. Take responsibility for whatever is making you angry and dominate your frustration by channeling it into productive action. Use your anger to relieve stress and drive you forward. Use it to cut negative and manipulative people out of your life forever. By gaining control over your anger, you will experience more growth and will ultimately be more successful in life.
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