“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.”
Alan Keightley (Author, Into Every Life a Little Zen Must Fall)
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”
Denis Waitley (Speaker & Author, The Psychology of Winning)
“If you don’t build your dream someone will hire you to help build theirs.”
Tony Gaskins (Author, CEO Of Me)
Leave me alone today.
I have 4 meetings and hundreds of emails in my inbox.
This is what I told everyone in my office as soon as I walked in.
I was busy and needed to let them know so I could get my very important work done.
A few minutes later my boss barged in and asked me for an update that I didn’t have yet.
He was angry when I told him I’d have it by the end of the day.
But his anger went away as quickly as it came and he stayed in our office for a few minutes to gossip about one of the other managers.
I just wanted him to get out so I could get to work.
Why do people keep bothering me when they know I’m so busy?
This is what I thought over and over again.
Finally my boss started to leave but just then my boss’s boss walked in.
They both started talking to each other in front of us. Neither of them had much to say.
They were just killing time. Meanwhile, my office-mates and I hung on every word they said.
We acted delighted with every little joke and anecdote that dribbled out of their mouths.
Really, we were bored out of our minds and couldn’t wait for them to leave.
The clock hit 9:30 and they were still talking. I excused myself and rushed into my first meeting.
The meeting didn’t start on time, as usual.
Instead, people slowly dripped in and chatted with each other.
I jumped on my phone and started answering a few emails while people got settled.
The meeting started about 15 minutes late and the person leading the meeting proceeded to go through his poorly constructed points.
He raised his first point and two people disagreed on whether or not the point was valid.
The disagreement turned into a 20-minute discussion that eventually involved 8 other people in the meeting.
In the interest of time the meeting leader put the first point aside, unresolved, and went onto the second point.
The meeting ran over by 5 minutes and exactly zero of the agenda points were resolved by the end of it.
I rushed off to my next meeting.
By the end of the day, I had answered a few dozen emails that weren’t important and listened to a few dozen faceless people talk about issues that were never going to be resolved.
I went home feeling both exhausted and like I shouldn’t be exhausted at the same time.
I was physically and mentally tired but knew that I didn’t get anything real done all day.
Instead, I had just been pushed and pulled around by insignificant obligations and an indefinable, fog-like pressure to keep other people happy.
You Work For Other People Because You’re Lazy. The End.
When did wanting to be the boss and in charge go out of style?
Why are so many people satisfied with working for someone else?
Why do so many people refuse to set definable goals for themselves?
The answer is easy.
People are lazy.
A big day for most people now is sending a few emails at work and going out for coffee.
Maybe you have a couple of meetings during the day too.
The truth is you don’t have to do much today to stay alive.
You don’t even have to do much today to thrive in life.
If you’re reading this, I’m willing to bet you don’t struggle with getting food or having a place to sleep.
You can find clothes and anything else you need to survive dirt-cheap online.
And you can get online anywhere.
Odds are you know at least three different places where you can get Internet for free right now.
If you are struggling, there are dozens of programs, churches, charities, and community centers to help you get back on your feet.
But none of this solves the problem of you being lazy.
It doesn’t matter how many opportunities exist in the world if you’re too lazy to seize them.
You may say you want a better life but what are you really doing about it?
What are you creating right now? Where are you headed exactly?
Face it—you don’t know.
You think you know, but you don’t.
You want more success and more happiness. Big deal. What does that even mean?
You can’t get any more vague than that.
Here’s the real problem—you’re too lazy to define what you want.
Maybe you’re scared too. But you’re definitely lazy.
Don’t be upset. It’s okay. Identifying the problem is the first step to solving it.
The second step is knowing why you should solve the problem.
Why Goals Make You Successful (And Attractive)
You can’t hit a target you don’t set.
Studies out of Virginia Tech and Dominican University in California show that people who write down their goals are 33% more likely to achieve them.
These goal-setters also make 9X more money than people who don’t write down their goals.
The same studies show that only 20% of the population has goals and only 1% of the population writes down and reviews their goals.
We all know people who claim to be a struggling artist or an under-appreciated employee.
The truth is these people are struggling because they don’t know what they want.
They haven’t defined any goals. They haven’t defined a target.
Defining a target for yourself is the only way to be successful.
Think about it…
How can you be successful unless you’ve mapped out something measurable to achieve?
You can’t, so don’t try.
This is the first reason to set strong goals for your life—because defining what you want attracts you to what you want.
The second reason to set strong goals is because setting goals attracts other people to you.
A survey by Match.com found that two-thirds of women ages 25 and above stated ambition and career motivation as the most important factors in a man’s attractiveness.
But it’s not just women who find ambition attractive.
A Northwestern University study found that men and women are equally drawn to ambitious members of the opposite sex.
During the study, researchers scrutinized the romantic lives of participants and their prospects within and outside of speed-dating events.
The results showed that, regardless of gender, participants favored prospects with the most ambition.
Goals are attractive.
They attract you to the things you really want in life and they attract other people to you.
How To Be Your Own Boss And Stop Being A Servant To Others
If you don’t set the agenda for your life, someone else will.
If you keep being lazy and staying “busy” with meaningless drama, pointless meetings, and useless activities, your life will be a waste.
No one remembers mediocre people who do what they’re told.
History books are not filled with the names of servants and middle managers.
They’re not filled with the names of “yes” men and women.
Instead, they’re filled with the names of leaders and rule breakers—people who stepped out to make something happen for themselves.
Quit telling yourself that what you do at work is important.
If you’re working for someone else, towing the line in an endless line of faceless cogs, you’re not important.
You are replaceable and will eventually be replaced.
And no one will even know you existed.
What do you want your tombstone to say?
Here lies Joe Nobody who pushed somebody else’s widget forward for 40 years.
Congratulations, your life was a waste.
“But!” you cry.
“There’s nobility in working hard even if it’s for someone else!”
There’s no nobility in being a cog. There’s no nobility in being a servant of others.
You worked hard? So what? Do you want a medal?
Faceless people don’t get medals.
Unreasonable people get medals.
Only people who decide to rise above the masses and make a unique, individual contribution to the world are rewarded and remembered.
If you want to your life to matter, if you want to put a dent in the Universe, then you must change the way you live.
You must turn your back on doing what you’re told and start listening to and working for yourself.
Here are 5 things you must do to start being your own boss now…
1. Stop distracting yourself from your problems with other people’s problems. Stop acting like you care. You don’t. You’re just bored.
The problem with life is not that you have problems, it’s that your problems are too small.
Small problems are a breeding ground for boredom and drama.
If your problems were bigger, you wouldn’t be so miserable.
You’d be engaged. You’d be interested.
Instead, your problems are so small and insignificant that you actively look for new problems to participate in.
You are drawn to drama like a moth to a flame because drama is more exciting than your goals.
Finally! Something that matters! Something I can solve! Someone I can save!
You feel important by jumping into conflicts that don’t concern you because it gives you a sense of value.
The truth is the drama you’re engaging in isn’t important either.
It’s just another distraction.
It’s another way for you to kill time before your meaningless, boring life ends.
You don’t care about other people’s drama.
All you care about is how trying to save the day makes you look and feel.
It makes you feel important.
But this feeling is fake.
Stop engaging in drama. Get some better problems.
2. Protect your mental energy and spend your peak mental energy hours on you and you personal projects.
Do you have the brain of a toddler?
Can you do what you’re told?
Of course you can.
Any preschooler can obey.
If this is the case, then you can get a job whenever you want.
You can be 80 years old, in a diaper and a wheelchair, and get a job working for someone else.
Finding someone else who wants to tell you what to do is always easy.
Having the initiative to tell yourself what to do, on the other hand, is hard.
Setting a course for your life is not easy, especially when other people are standing against you trying to get you to conform.
Stepping out on your own takes immense energy.
The problem is that you’re giving all of your mental energy to other people.
You go to some office to work for 8-12 hours a day trying to make your bosses happy and then come home to spend another 4-6 hours trying to make your friends and family members happy.
Even if you find 30 minutes in a day to do something for yourself, you don’t have the energy to make anything big happen.
You only have enough energy to sit on the couch, watch TV, and scratch yourself.
Then you complain about how life is not fair or about how you work too hard or about how tired and busy you are.
You’re not tired. You’re not burned out. You’re bored. You’re a baby.
Toughen up, Princess.
Stop giving your mental energy away to things that don’t matter.
Start protecting your energy. Start spending it on you and your own projects.
Get up 20 minutes earlier each day and spend this time working on your personal goals.
At the end of just one week of doing this you’ll have spent over 2 hours on your mission.
That’s enough to start making your dent.
3. Quit being at other people’s beck and call. Quit crawling around on your hands and knees like you’re someone else’s servant.
Think about how much of your day you spend trying to make someone else happy.
Whether you’re trying to please your boss, family, friends, or significant other, this time adds up quickly.
Before you know it, you’re spending all of your time trying to keep other people from being upset with you.
You’re spending all of your time trying not to get fired, or trying not to get divorced or dumped, or trying not to have some irrational drama queen lash out at you.
When you live like this, you live like a servant.
You position yourself to be at other people’s beck and call.
Who is the boss of your life? Who is really pulling the strings?
If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that other people have far too much control over you.
Think of how many things you have to do each day just to meet other people’s expectations.
You either do what’s expected of you or these people get upset.
It’s like they’re saying jump and you’re saying how high?
This is no way to live.
Stop being at other people’s beck and call.
Instead, start saying “no” to everyone.
Seriously, say “no” over and over.
Pretend you have a big “no” stamp and start stamping people.
Try this out for at least a few weeks. See what happens.
See what it’s like not to be a servant anymore.
4. Build a network around you, not around someone else or someone else’s business.
Influence is more valuable than time, money, or any other resource you can manage.
In today’s world, attracting people’s attention and connecting with them in a meaningful way that drives both them and you to action is priceless.
If you don’t have any influence, you are useless. More than that—you’re meaningless.
You can’t make big things happen in your life without influence.
Influence is the only real leverage left in the world.
The biggest reason you keep working for someone else and living to make others happy is because you have no leverage.
You stay at your job because your entire network—everyone you know with any professional clout—is at your current job.
At the very most, your network includes a few dozen people in the small business field you’re in.
The problem is no one outside of this small field knows who you are or who anyone in your network is.
Pick the name of any Fortune 500 Vice President right now and ask the next person you meet if they’ve ever heard of him or her.
I’m willing to bet the answer is a resounding “No idea.”
In fact, you could do this with the majority of Fortune 500 CEOs.
Yet, you’re relying on the few dozen people you know in your field to produce enough leverage for you to live a massively successful life?
If you ever want to work for yourself or be your own boss in any way, you better start building a bigger platform.
You better start growing and diversifying your network aggressively.
5. Stop valuing approval. Seriously. Stop. Hate approval. Hate it hard.
Your need for approval is why you work for someone else you can’t stand.
It’s why you stay trapped in a life that you know in your gut is only a fraction of the life you should be living.
You’ve been trained since birth to chase the approval of others and this desire has boxed you into a corner.
Now you can’t do anything without having to consider whether or not it will upset someone else.
You move left, someone disapproves. You move right, someone else disapproves.
So you stay put.
You stay in your tiny little box. You stay in your fishbowl of a life for decades because you love the fuzzy comfort of approval.
The truth is no one approves of you.
Other people don’t approve of you, they’re just comfortable with you.
You’re not a threat so they keep you around and play nice.
You’re a safety blanket.
An insurance card reminding everyone that it’s okay to be average.
You’re not exciting. You’re not massively successful. You’re not even your own person.
But at least you make other people feel comfortable about themselves.
Refuse to live this way.
Stop putting other people’s approval first. Stop kowtowing to people who will only like you as long as you continue to be average.
Instead, start putting your goals first. Start choosing yourself first.
If you want to start being your own boss in life, you need to start thinking and acting differently. You need to stop distracting yourself with drama and instead, start taking on bigger problems. Quit being at other people’s beck and call and quit working and living like you’re a servant. The road to being your own boss is simple—start protecting your mental energy and stop valuing approval. Set your own goals and pursue them aggressively. This will result in a life well lived rather than a life full of regret.
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