3 Ways You Can Maintain Your Autonomy In Relationships

Published by: Isaiah Hankel

Topics :Emotional Intelligence

“The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.”

Neale Donald Walsch (American Author, “Conversations With God”)

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”

Michel de Montaigne (French Renaissance Writer)

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.”

Anthony Robbins (American Author & Speaker “Awaken The Giant Within”)

I like to think of myself as a strong individual.

I know who I am and what I want.

And I won’t sacrifice myself to anyone!

Well… unless I’m hungry.

Or tired.

Or if I want something really badly.

Like peace and quiet.

As tough as I think I am, I feel the urge to compromise on myself constantly.

Something as small as wanting a hamburger is enough to make me want to give up on a goal sometimes.

But being hungry isn’t what worries me.

Being constantly stressed and miserable is what worries me.

Being in an awful relationshi...
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How Mediocre Living Can Turn You Into A Coward

Published by: Isaiah Hankel

Topics :How To Be Confident

“We despise and abhor the bully, the brawler, the oppressor, whether in private or public life, but we despise no less the coward and the voluptuary. No man is worth calling a man who will not fight rather than submit to infamy or see those that are dear to him suffer wrong.”

Theodore Roosevelt (American President)

“He was just a coward and that was the worst luck any many could have.”

Ernest Hemingway (American Novelist, For Whom The Bell Tolls)

“Cowards die many times before their actual deaths.”

Julius Caesar (Roman Leader)

I remember the day I looked in the mirror and saw a coward.

I was working for a large company and things were going well, financially.

I was part of a team and spent most of my days in meetings and answering emails.

Things were easy.

I was unsatisfied, but any restlessness I felt was buried under a mountain of triple caramel lattes, afternoon martinis, happy hours, and endless pats on the back for doing a “good job”.

Greatness had become a distant memory.

I was sooooooo cozy.

I remember washing my hands in the office bathroom one day and looking up...
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3 Ways To Prevent Distractions From Interrupting Your Goals

Published by: Isaiah Hankel

Topics :How To Focus

“By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.”

Christopher Columbus (Italian Explorer)

“One way to boost our willpower and focus is to manage our distractions instead of letting them manage us.”

Daniel Goleman (Author, Emotional Intelligence)

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”

Jim Rohn (American Businessman)

Your focus is like a fire.

At least mine is.

Sometimes it rages out of control.

It gets blown by the wind here and there until it’s ravaging the open plains of my brain.

Sure, I’ll eventually get control of my focus again.

But then I have to deal with all the ash — the ash of distraction.

Your focus is special to you.

It’s distinct and specific, just like your own personality.

It’s also strong and easily spread, like a fire.

And like fire, it can become wild and destructive if left unchecked.

But, i...
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3 Reasons To Stop Trying So Hard To Make Other People Happy

Published by: Isaiah Hankel

Topics :Emotional Intelligence

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”

Groucho Marx (American Comedian)

“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.”

Wayne Dyer (American Psychologist)

“Happiness depends on ourselves.”

Aristotle (Greek Philosopher)


Constantly feeling obligated to make other people happy is incredibly destructive.

(I know this because I used to be a chronic approval seeker.)

Obligation and a feeling of indebtedness is an automatic veto on your needs, your rights, and your goals.

You forfeit your autonomy and, ultimately your success, for someone else.

And for what?

Some promise of promotion?

A more secure relationship?

Avoidance of personal or professional conflict, in general?

These are weak excuses.

This is victim land.

No one makes yo...
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Just Walk Away – How To Get Revenge On Narcissistic People

Published by: Isaiah Hankel

Topics :Negative People

“If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?”

William Shakespeare (English Playwright)

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”

Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor)

“It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love.”

Voltaire (French Philosopher, Writer)


I hate getting dumped.

I really hate breaking up with someone.

Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship that has gone sour, or a working relationship that doesn’t work anymore.

Ending it is hard.

When someone else does the ending, no matter how much I agree with them, I still feel a twinge of anger.

Or maybe it’s jealousy.

Or sadness.

Either way, my first instinct is to get back at the other person by lashing out.

This is my brain’s way of balancing my emotions.

I feel a negative emotion so my brain thinks that making someone else feel a negative emotion will result in a clean slate.

The easiest way for my brain to accomplish this is by targeting the person who made me feel the nega...
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