“There are two kinds of power you have to fight. The first is the money, and that’s just our system. The other is the people close around you, knowing when to accept their criticism, knowing when to say no.”
Martin Scorsese (American Director)
“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.”
Napoleon Hill (American Author)
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Maya Angelou (American Poet)
What’s the biggest obstacle in your life?
You are the biggest obstacle.
What’s the second biggest obstacle in your life?
That’s right — beyond yourself, the biggest obstacle between you and achieving your biggest dreams is other people.
Specifically, negative people.
Or, as I like to call them collectively, dream-killers.
All varieties of toxic influence in the masked form of people that appear to be on your side.
If you are stuck in life and want to start moving forward again, you have to audit your life.
You have to audit the people you’re spending time with.
This doesn’t just include the obviously toxic people — it includes anyone who is not where you want to be in life.
It includes the ambitionless, the motionless, the lazy… as well as the corrupt.
Who is living a life similar to what you want in yours?
Who is smarter, stronger, more successful, healthier, funnier?
Keep those those people in your life.
(If you don’t have some of these people in your life, it’s time to find them.)
After you do an honest assessment of everyone in your life, start making some space by eliminating the negative people that are holding you back.
Eliminate the backstabbers.
The constantly critical people.
And the bad influences.
You have to identify who you spend time with and what you’re doing with that time.
Are you advancing toward your goals personally and professionally by spending time with these people?
If not, why not?
It’s on you to keep your inner circle healthy and progressive.
Avoiding Negative People Increases Health And Success
There is a direct link between your happiness and your success.
Research published in Psychological Bulletin states that “the happiness-success link exists not only because success makes people happy, but also because positive affect engenders success.”
This success can come in the form of marriage, friendship, income, work performance, and health.
Research also confirms that our happiness depends on the quality of our relationships.
While happiness is of course a personal responsibility, we are naturally impacted by the people we choose to have in our lives.
All the inner work you do can be sabotaged, simply by being around negative people.
It’s a phenomenon called “emotional contagion” in a study out of the Wharton School (University of Pennsylvania), and has to do with mirror neurons in the brain that pick up the emotional affect of another, unconsciously, and then mirror the same in you.
Negative people make you more negative.
This negative emotional contagion can turn into a plague on your life if you’re not consistently auditing your inner circle.
Still not convinced?
Negative relationships can be detrimental to your mental and physical health and well-being with one study in the National Academy of Sciences finding links to negative friendships and an increase in pro-inflammatory mechanisms in the body that have been linked to depression, immune dysfunction, and even cancer.
That’s right, negativity and negative people can ruin your health.
It’s time to take your happiness and your health seriously and get rid of your excuses for keeping toxic people around.
The 3 Negative Influences You Need To Eliminate
Once you identify the dream-killers in your life, eliminate them.
The person who keeps reminding you about your past mistakes, the person who respects you privately but disrespects you publically, and the person who turns you into a worse version of yourself.
These people ooze toxicity.
They ooze deceit and disrespect.
They also ooze contempt and criticism.
Contemptuous and critical, these are well-researched traits of relationship toxicity and they always spell doom.
The people you want to keep in your life are those that build you up, encourage you, and bring out your best self.
The rest — those who are looking to get something out of you — they have to go.
Here’s how to spot the 3 most common dream-killers and how to get rid of them…
1. The constant critic.
Is there anything more annoying than finally making a positive change in your life only to have someone close to you remind you of how much of a screw-up you used to be?
Listen, everyone makes mistakes.
You have to let this go.
You have to forgive yourself for everything.
If you don’t, other people will use your guilt against you.
They will control you with your past.
They’ll make you believe that you’re not allowed to feel good about yourself because you’ve made too many past mistakes.
They’ll make you feel like you’ll be punished if you act too happy or too confident.
They’ll always knock you down when you get up with “remember when…” stories that remind and highlight your mistakes.
They do this in an attempt to infuse you with crippling guilt and shame.
Guilt and shame are powerful emotions that will stop you dead in your tracks.
Stop allowing this to happen.
Stop keeping these people in your life.
You’re not going to be punished by God, the Universe, the government, karma, luck, or anything, for allowing yourself to finally feel confident.
You’re not going to be punished for walking away from someone who always makes you feel bad about yourself, no matter who it is.
You’re allowed to feel good about yourself.
You’re allowed to feel confident and strong.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is a constant critic and should not be in your life.
2. The backstabber.
Ah… the backstabber.
They are nice to your face and evil behind your back.
Is there really any reason to keep this kind of person in your life?
No — the answer is no.
You should always step away from the person who is nice to you privately but disrespects you publicly.
You should walk away from anyone who looks you in the eye and says ‘trust me’, only to say bad things about you to everyone else.
These people are fake friends.
Life with them is a guessing game of never knowing what you can say and where it might be twisted and broadcasted later.
The very first time that someone treats you well in private but badly in public, get rid of them.
You cannot trust this person.
Don’t wait until the seventh or eighth time they make you look like a fool.
Say no — now.
This goes for anyone who openly disrespects you in public.
Whether it’s a boss screaming at you in the office or a significant other throwing a tantrum in a parking lot.
Let them go.
You’re not five years old.
No one should be yelling at you as if you were.
No one should be acting like they’re five years old around you just because they’re not getting their way.
Stop tolerating this behavior.
Stop empowering this behavior.
These people use drama to control you and make themselves feel significant.
It’ll never change and anything you do to try to fix them will never work.
You’ll never be able to trust a thing they say and you’ll never be able to count on them.
They are in this for themselves only and the worse they can make you look, the better.
3. The bad influence.
Stop spending time with the person who turns you into a worse version of yourself.
Everyone has someone in their life who brings out the worst in them.
Maybe it’s a passive-aggressive colleague, an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, or that one deranged family member who just drives you nuts.
Whoever it is, stop letting them hijack your personality.
We do become like the people we spend the most time with.
So if you’re around someone that brings out your worst qualities, the more time you spend with them, the worse you’ll become.
Not everyone is a good fit for your life right now.
Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever.
Some people are great separately, but together they are oil and water.
You see this with people that share bad habits and addictions all the time.
Every time they get together, they get into trouble.
But apart, they’re fine.
You must be wise enough to realize that some people are bad for you.
You must also be wise enough to realize that you are bad for some people.
If you find yourself thinking and acting stupidly around a certain person, stop being around that person.
If you find yourself being a crutch for someone else, or influencing a certain person negatively, stop it.
In both cases, remove yourself from the situation.
Instead of wasting your time trying to not become like them, get rid of them.
Instead, spend time with people who encourage you to stay true to yourself and your true personality.
Figure out who you are and who you want to be, and then surround yourself with people that bring out the best in you, not the worst.
Not everyone we meet or attract into our lives is good for us. Not everyone brings out the best in us. And if we get lazy in this area, we’ll end up with a circle of influence in our friendships, partnerships, or businesses that are toxic and hold us back from achieving health and success. The wrong people in your life will impact every area of your life. Controlling, manipulative, and negative people will always waste time and energy as you try and mitigate the drama they incur that ultimately keeps you from reaching your goals.
To learn more about how backstabbers and negative people will destroy your dreams, and to get instant access to exclusive training videos, case studies, insider documents, and my private online network, get on the Escape Plan wait list.